ABUNDANCE: First Person Article in Tableau by Jeanne Pepper

I live in an abundant world. It is my belief that — barring extreme hardship — we all do. I see abundance in everything and everyone.

This perspective makes living in this world, where my child was murdered, bearable for me. Otherwise, the world would look like an empty place, devoid of the joy that my son Blaze brought to our lives. Gratitude for this abundance is the secret sauce in the morning that grows a smile on my face and excitement for a new day to begin. When people hear me say that, they may think that it comes from a place of privilege. Nope, anyone can feel abundant. Anyone can look at their life as a place of opportunity and joy. Even in my darkest days, after I learned what happened to Blaze, I still had gratitude for our abundance. I saw abundance everywhere, including the generous support of friends, law enforcement that worked tirelessly, and a world that helped us look for him and cried with us when we learned the truth. Now, my happiness stems from gratitude in what I still have. What does this mean?

While I grieve, I also choose to see the time I had with Blaze — his 19 years in my life — as a gift to me, my family, and the world. These hard feelings tell me that I loved him and that he loved me. Of course, it makes me sad and I cry sometimes wishing he was still here. This sadness gives me real empathy for those suffering losses. It gives me an understanding of the fragility of life and the preciousness of love that few have. I stopped questioning my faith and accepted that our time is borrowed and every minute a blessing. I cope by finding abundance even in my grief.

It all comes down to perspective, abundance, and gratitude. We can look at our lives and the intangibles as gifts or we can concentrate on the things that we are missing. We write the narrative of our lives that we play back in our own minds. We decide whether it is a story of abundance or of deprivation. This is why children in the same household can see their experience differently — one calling it a miserable childhood and the other calling it good. The metaphor of looking at a glass as half full or half empty applies beautifully here. It is all about interpretation.

One experience I had my second year of college left an indelible impression on me. The University paired me with a quadriplegic roommate. She had limited use of her hands, was confined to a motorized wheelchair, and needed attendants to dress her, put her to bed, and care for all of her personal hygiene including using the bathroom. Still, she could draw and hold a paintbrush in her mouth to create incredible art. My expectation of a “normal” roommate experience abruptly ended that first day when I chose to stay. My biggest concern was simply hurting her by making a big deal out of the situation. While I was disappointed, I still felt abundant. This wasn’t exactly a loss. I was still me; I was healthy, and I had a whole magical school year to enjoy. The experience would give me new perspectives. I was open to it. I was curious. Being open and curious about others and their challenges is part of what fuels the idea of abundance and gives us perspective. We need perspective to have gratitude.

The takeaway? From my perspective, we live in an abundant world. Yes, there are tragedies, injustice, crime, and wars that impact many of us. Yet, there

is still a world before us full of mystery, magic and opportunity to explore and enjoy. Yes, there are problems to solve and diseases to cure. We have to start seeing these problems as challenges and not as deprivation or loss. No one has a life that is perfect. As humans, it would be unhealthy to live in a world without challenges. The human soul needs challenges and their lessons to give us meaning. We cannot understand perfection without imperfection. Likewise, we cannot reach for the stars if they are not out of reach.

This is why we must change our perception. We must see our problems as challenges, and the challenges as the obstacles in a meaningful journey. We must accept what we cannot change and focus on what is good in our lives; a full stomach, a warm bed, loving parents, and even the freedom to speak out. For those who are struggling, I challenge you to identify the abundant parts of your life. Then be grateful. It’s easier to be happy in life and to share your abundance with others when you have gratitude. Luckily, it’s in your power to change your perspective. First, realize that it’s a choice and then actively challenge yourself. Begin your meaningful journey by sharing your abundance and #BlazeitForward. We created the #BlazeitForward movement to honor our son’s legacy of kindness and to inspire YOU to have an abundant life.

To join the #BlazeitForward movement and make a donation, please visit www.blazebernstein.org.